Stuck in a Boring Relationship? This is what you can do

Stuck in a Boring Relationship? This is what you can do
Are you currently involved in a boring and uninspiring relationship? Every relationship has it’s up and downs, it’s just the way of life. We’ve all been there before, when relationships are new, there is intensity and passion, and you probably can’t stay away from your partner, however, it fades over time and gets a little worn out. When this is the case, you can either fix the boredom or move on.

Do not worry, if you are bored with your relationship and do not understand why you're definitely not alone. Many studies have shown that the passionate love you feel in new relationships starts wearing off after 12-18 months. A majority of couples fail to keep the passion between them that initially led them together.

Signs of a Boring Relationship

If you are not too sure if you are stuck in a boring relationship, then there are signs that will help you identify if your relationship is boring. If you do not feel interested about your partner’s feelings or their life in general, If you do not pay attention to them as much as before, thinking about the future of your relationship makes you feel uneasy, you find spending time with other people much more enjoyable than your partner, feel irritated at them constantly, don’t appreciate them or if you feel like changing your partner for someone else then you definitely are bored with your relationship and it can affect your happiness in general. What’s the point in living if you do not feel happy? On the other hand, if you generally feel happy and satisfied with your relationship and only occasionally feel bored then that is completely normal and not harmful at all, it’s only harmful when you are not giving each other time, attention and affection at all for an extended period of time.

Why does it happen?

You must be constantly asking yourself how it got so boring? Especially if your relationship was extremely passionate and you couldn’t keep away from each other in the beginning. There are many reasons why you start getting bored of your relationship such as:

  • Different interests: If you and your partner do not share atleast some similar interests then it will be difficult to find things in commmon do talk about or even activities. When your relationship is new, people tend to care less about shared interests, however as time passes on, it is crucial in order to keep the relationship going.
  • You do not have meaningful conversation: Communication is always key. If you do not share your goals, feelings or thoughts to your partner then taht means that you will now be well connected to them and you will start growing apart.
  • If you have given up something to be in this relationship: It might seem like a good idea at the beginning to abandon things such as your hopes, dreams or interests for your partner, however it will only be a matter of time until you start feeling regret and despise the relationship.
  • You do not have your own interests and hobby: Everyone should have their own hobbies and interests outside of their relationship as it will give you a break from it and make you feel more excited about life, it also provides you with something to talk about to your partner.
  • You stop making an effort in your relationship and to combat boredom: If you start ignoring your partner;s feelings, interests and affection then you are no longer making an effort, which shows that you have had enough and you do not want to make an effort to reduce the boredom and keep things interesting.

Decide if your relationship is worth Saving

If your relationship is indeed boring, and you want to start feeling happy again then you must first decide if your relationship is worth saving before attempting to save it. There are three things to consider when deciding if your relationship is worth saving and if it will ultimately make you happy, the first one is trust. If you feel that they will be honest and truthful to you and also not end up deceiving you then that means that you trust them. Secondly, do both of you have the same key life values that are most critical to you such as family, religion and health? Lastly, how do both of you handle conflicts between each other? If both of you are willing to handle and solve disagreements in a constructive and positive way then it could be worth saving. All of these three qualities must be present in your relationship in order to make it worth saving, if none of them are then you should definitely move on in order to be happy again and get some excitement back into your life.

How to make your relationship more Interesting

Change the way you Think

There is much research which suggests that if you train yourself to interpret situations in different ways then it will change the way you think about them. Focus on your partner’s positive qualities and how they contribute to you and your relationship.

Change your Routines

Routines are boring, one way you can make your relationship more interesting is to shake it up a little. Instead of eating at the same restaurant, go try a new one, or even find new activities to do on holidays, you can also spice things up in the bedroom to make it interesting.

You should also try new things together in order to combat boredom such as start working out together, visit new places, start new activities or even sign up for cooking classes together. A study conducted in 2013 found out that couples who tried a four-week online intervention to increase relationship excitement reported feeling much more excitement and satisfaction in the relationship as long as 4 months later.

Go on Dates

If your relationship feels like it fell off a cliff and you do not feel any excitement at all then you should take things back the way it used to be and repeat the activities you enjoyed together which will help you reconnect and rekindle the romance.

Relationships can get boring really quickly, the passion and connection you feel at the beginning always wears off and matures you, however, sometimes it can cause your relationship to be really boring and it will make you extremely unhappy. If you no longer feel any excitement at all then you should ask yourself if the relationship is worth saving. If it is then you have to pay more attention to your relationship, if you need professional help or counselling in order to be able to talk about your relationship issues and come up with ways to improve it then do not hesitate to contact Dr. Narindr.