Want a healthy relationship? You NEED to have a Growth mindset

The theory of having a growth mindset was initially studied in relation to education, research demonstrated that students with a growth mindset were able to learn much more than those with a fixed mindset, subsequent studies also investigated the impact of having a growth mindset on relationships and found out that people who had growth beliefs of relationships were much more tolerant to discrepancies between their idealized and actual vision of their partner, which means that they were more able to acknowledge their partner’s shortcomings and remain satisfied with the relationship.

What are Fixed and Growth Mindset?

There are two types of mindsets, a fixed mindset where you believe that a person’s or your own ability to be set in stone, and then there's the growth mindset, where you believe that abilities can be developed and built over time. By understanding and shifting your mindset, you can increase your effectiveness in relationships. It is possible to develop a growth mindset, it takes time and effort, but it is possible to change the behaviour of neurons in your brain to make certain thoughts more or less frequent.

Shifting to a Growth mindset

You should persistently practice to think positively about stressful situations and failures which will help you physically change the ways and pattern your neurons fire so that in the future it will be easier for you to think with a growth mindset as it will slowly become the default wayof thinking.

People with a fixed mindset in relationships always assume that if you have to work at it and nothing falls into place by itself then it wasnt meant to be. If you have this mindset then it is almost impossible to have a healthy relationship with anyone. In order to have a healthy relationship with another person, you must spend time and effort to work on it and acknowledge each other's characteristics instead of just giving up.

Use sucessful relationships as a Template

In order to help transition yourself to have a growth mindset, you should look at people you know that are in healthy relationships and use that as a template, it will also help you think that if they can do it, you can as well. We understand, these days the nature of relationships are not what they used to be like in the past, most relationships or mariages fail these days, and you might not know of any couple with a successful relationship around you. If this is the case then fictional relationships such as Hollywood movies can also help provide you the template to have a fulfilling relationship.

Believe in your capacity to Change

You should also believe in the capacity of others and yourself to change. In the modern world, people usually have a lot going on in their lives, whether it's work, family or anything else. Everyone has their own priorities in life, so it is important that you do not give up easily. For example, if you made plans for a date, and the other person cancels on you and might not reply to your texts for a few hours, you should not believe that something is wrong with them, or with you and give up on your reltionhip with them, you should always believe that people, including you, can do better if they put in an affort. You should start communicating with the other person isstead to know what's going on so both of you could fix the problem and move on, instead of assuming the relationship has broken or will never be the same.

Be persistent

It is important to always stay persistent when you encounter difficulties in your relationship and be determined to grow your relationship skills to do better in the future instead of just being stuck inside a box and giving up early. If you start making an effort to have a growth mindset then your relationships will definitely last longer and will be much more rewarding.

Always remember, “Mindsets are just beliefs. Theyre powerful beliefs, but theyre just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.” - Carol Dweck. It is important to accept that relationships are never stable and not to give up the moment you start facing problems, it is all about your hard work and effort. Having open and honest communication is key to having a healthy relationship in the long term and you need to change your mindset in order to do just that.

It is not easy to change your mindset, it takes alot of effort and persistence in order to make it automatic for you to have a growth mindset about everything in life, not just relationships. The growth mindset can be used in all aspects of your life and it will definitely make you a much more fulfilled and happy person if you manage to successfully shift your mindset. If you need any professional help with relationships in general or helping you change your mindset then please contact Dr. Narindr at one of the links below.